My Heart Was Black with Sin

I read a little more in The Disciplines of Grace  yesterday and came away realizing just how bad a sinner I really am.  Didn't I begin this journey because I felt guilt over not doing things and doing things and needed to understand how to live in God's grace, not feel defeated and worth less ALL THE TIME?  SO,  I pick a book on grace and it just leads me down a very dark and depressing road.  And this just in ch 2!!!!!!   

So I read some good things and here are the high lights low lights.

1)  My sin is rebellion against God's Authority  (Luke 16:21) (I have always had authority issues, so this was a "DUH" moment.)

2)  When I sin, I despise God.  (2 Sam 2:9-10) (This one sounded so very very very bad,  and I cringed at even typing ...that word)

3)  When I sin I defy God's authority over me (1 Kings 13:21)  (Kindof sounds like putting fingers up to the nose and going,  'Nah, Nah! )

So,  it all boils down to I am a rebellious, determined to have my own way, defiant, despicable person.  And if you think THIS doesn't bring about feelings of guilt.... 

But to give Mr Bridges credit,  he did point me back to the cross, where all this nasty black-hearted sin was placed on my precious savior, who knew no sin, and it has all been taken away.  And now my savior sits at His Father's right hand and all my selfish prayers and  petitions are brought through the cleansing blood of Christ, and I have a righteous relationship with the Father. 

THAT did  cheer me up some.  I think I will go thank my Savior and work on living an obedient and grateful life.  That's the very least I can do.

thanks for reading,

Reb

                                                           Peaceful scene from Petit Jean